Com101 – Recommended Resources

These are the resources that made my journey to communicating through emotion possible.  I highly recommend all of them.  Here they are in no particular order:

The Gottman Institute which runs a plethora of studies on relationships, has workshops for healthier connection and communication in marriages, and the book “the Seven Principles for Making Marriage Work.”  Their website is: gottman.com

The book “Nonviolent Communication”, by Marshall B. Rosenberg PhD.,  which has a lot of overlap with the Gottman Institute, and the next book, “Getting the Love You Want.”  I really like their approach but in practice, I found it was only half the puzzle.  I also really love the idea of once you know how to communicate, you can decode other people’s poor communication as you receive it and guide them through the book’s steps for clear communication. (Trivia: The cover of the NVC book has my core values printed on it.  It’s one of the reasons I put the book in the front of my reading queue. “empathy, collaboration, authenticity, freedom”)  Their website is: cnvc.org

The book “Getting the Love You Want” by Harville Hendrix Ph.D. and Helen LaKelly Hunt Ph.D.  This book is an incredible read for those willing to actually walk the path of personal healing.  Especially for those with a partner who is also walking the path.  The exercises in this book will lead you into some very heavy shadow work and I can’t recommend it enough.  I really like their “couples dialog,” but again, I found it was only half the puzzle.  Their website is: harvilleandhelen.com

On the topic of building habits, I recommend the book “Atomic Habits” by James Clear and “The Happiness Advantage” but Shawn Achor.

On the topic of boundaries, I recommend the book “Where to Draw the Line” by Anne Katherine.  I love that the author has so many example of what to actually say. 

I highly recommend the emotional intelligence programs from Klemmer and Associates (klemmer.com) and ChoiceCenter (choicecenter.com).  The many individual lessons and modules of these programs woke me up to my own unconscious thinking and habits, then help me challenge those habits with the simple idea that we always get to choose how we react.

I also highly recommend therapy and/or support groups.  You don’t know what you don’t know.  You also don’t have to struggle alone.  It’s amazing what an unattached third-party perspective can reveal. 

To wrap this section up, I just want to say that my dream is to see everyone communicating through conflict and emotion with easy.  I want to see everyone healing and strengthening their connections.  My dream is for all of us to be those healthy role models for the next generation.  Ultimately, I wish I could go back in time and hand this information to my younger self.