Favoritism & Jealousy ~Deal with it!

Question: With separate partners, you get all sorts of problems from favoritism and jealousy to family issues like having kids or wanting kids, how do you deal with that?

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Careful, there’s a big Opinion and Assumptions worked into that one.
Your opinion is valid for you, but it’s not a fact that can be forced on others.
Jealousy is human, perceived favoritism is human. Constant Jealousy and intentional favoritism are toxic. If you have those, then that sounds like an unhealthy or toxic relationship. My number 1 piece of advice is don’t get in unhealthy relationships and if you find yourself in one, leave. Don’t wait. I’ve made that mistake. Leave.

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Also I recommend not DEAL WITH people, I recommend LOVING PEOPLE. Love is a verb, it’s something you DO.

That said, If there was jealousy in a poly relationship, I would love the people feeling the jealousy or ask for love because I’m feeling jealous. I would embrace the idea that someone has a need that’s not being met and they may not have known until just this moment.
Then I would LOVE PEOPLE while trying to communicate how we can get everyone’s needs met.

Favoritism is a form of jealousy, so talk through it. LOVE PEOPLE.

Also, don’t ever put yourself “in the middle” between partners or metas. Don’t ever compare partners. Each connection between two people is a connection between them. Talk about and Make adjustments to the partner you’re talking to and leave the other partner out of it. If something is going on between your partners, encourage them to talk, don’t offer to moderate because it puts you in the middle. Meta’s don’t have to be friends, however if they are not able to get along like adults, treat that as a red flag that something is wrong and you may need to step away from one or both relationships —ALSO consider, you might be problem –actually start there. Take responsibility for yourself and your own actions and the people you chose to have in your life. It’s totally possible you are in 2 relationships and you are the one creating drama or allow drama to grow.

Okay family issues and existing kid or future kids… I have to be honest, I don’t have kids and I’m not interested in relationships that involve kids. That’s just me. For people who do have kids or do want kids, that’s just another need that should be discussed as the relationship comes together, grows, and changes. If you’re open and honest and your partners are open and honest, you’ll find many people who want the type of family dynamic you want or who might help build a family dynamic you never even dreamed was possible.

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