Q. Does “Kinky” = “Sex”?

I get this question all the time!!! Here’s the truth!!  Q. Does “Kinky” = “Sex”? A. Why do you think it does? 

Warning: Kink Responsibly!

  • Don’t hurt yourself.
  • Don’t hurt anyone else. Be and act safely.
  • Educate yourself! Find a local club and get a mentor.
  • If you’re NOT SURE about something, DON’T DO IT!
  • Always have clear, enthusiastic CONSENT
  • Always have and use clear SAFEWORDS
  • Always have SAFETY EQUIPMENT within arm’s reach.
    → Safety Shears, First Aid Kit, Etc.
  • Start Low; Go Slow
  • Watch Video: Why Safewords Fail: https://youtu.be/Fq-pgWMt7qI

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Taboos get misinterpreted and become sex in people’s minds

“Nude” vs “Sex” — I have friends that I skinny dip with… and walk around topless with. No sex.

“Cuddling” vs “Sex” — I have friends I cuddle and sleep with…. Sleep with, not sex.

“Play” vs “Sex” — being playful, interacting and touching is not sex. It doesn’t have to be reserved for one person or your one and only significant other. Get physical. Piggyback rides. Wrestling.

Kinky stuff is often just playful stuff and physical stuff and often nude stuff.

Your body doesn’t have a users manual. You have to explore it. What sensations have you tried?

We tend to gravitate to the pleasurable things but what about the other sensations? What about dry, irritated, rough, gooey, painful, stingy, crushing, pinching, hot, or cold things? You have to try them to know them.
It’s just like how people talk about their palette with wine or food. Pork and Beef taste different, by you have to try them to understand that. Same thing with apples and pairs. Heck, even different types of apples taste different… you have to try them to know which apples you prefer. How about different types of preparation of apples. Dehydrated apple is different then apple chips, or freeze dried apples, or roasted apples, or apple sauce. You have to try them to understand.

Kink is the same way with our other senses. Every flogger is different. Every whip, flail, belt, strap, paddle, and riding crop are all different. How will you now what you like if you don’t try them?

Once you realize that, you want to go try new things. I can tell you that frogs legs taste a lot like chicken but you’ll never truly understand until you try it. So you go looking for frogs legs to see for yourself. So how about, snails, eel, chicken feet, squirrel, tarantulas, grasshoppers, seaweed.

How do you practice? How do you share ideas? With friends!

Best reason to get involved with a kinky group in your area is to dispel the stigma around doing fun weird things with friends.

Does “kinky” = “sex”? No.

Is SEX BETTER with kinky things?” ABSOLUTELY!

So go try all the things in life! Find out what you like and don’t like and then purposely create situations where you get to experience all your favorite things at the same time or in fun combinations. And yes, sex is one of those things, but it doesn’t have to be.

Check out the video I did with Katrina and the clothespins. We quickly realized it would be even more fun with rope and the violet wand and a pinwheel. She knows her pallet AND it’s robust.

Clothespins Video: (link above)

Each element was something Katrina knew she liked… so we combined the surprise and the pinch of the clothespins with the helplessness and submission of the rope and the excitement of the shock from the violet want plus the prickliness of the pinwheel. We created an unique experience for her.

Does “kinky” = “sex”? No.

Is SEX BETTER with kinky things?” ABSOLUTELY!

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